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The English Language In 24 Accents (with transcripts / text)

***WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE***REALLY EXPLICIT LANGUAGE THROUGHOUT***

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Write (Dictate) what you Hear
Check Answers & Read Aloud

Introduction (0:00-0:58):
Right I actually promised my friends that I’d make this video quite a while ago but I’ve not got (a)round to it. But now I finally got round to it, so here it is. Uh, in this video I’m just gonna be attempting to do a variety of accents from around the world. I’ll start off with accents from my own country which has lots of different accents (uh, um) I’m from Britain in case you didn’t notice...I’m from the U.K....And yeah, there’s lots of different British accents I can do. And then I’ll move on to accents from other countries and that. Um, the way I’m gonna do structure this video is for each accent I’m gonna pretend I’m on the phone and I’m gonna chat at (about) random stuff. And when I say random I mean 100% random. It is complete and utter rubbish. Don’t pay attention to what I say; don’t take it seriously. It’s just random chatter in the accent. Uh, I may have made a few references here and there to the individual accent but it’s mostly random. Oh yeah, that’s how I’m gonna structure it, so um, let’s begin.

Accents (0:59-7:08):
1. British – Southern English – East London – Cockney: You alright, is Dave there? You alright mate how’s it going son? Yeah I'm fine mate, just doing a bit of DIY. This place is a fuckin’ shithole. But I’ll have it sorted in no time.
2. British (Jamaican influenced) - Southern English – London – street/ slang/ chav/ thug: Wagwan blud wot u sayin, nah its cool fam. What? Wot blud u talking about? 'Ey blud now don't fucking hang up on me yeah. What the fuck! Pussyhole! What the fuck u lookin’ at?
3. British – Southern English –Formal RP (Received Pronunciation): Great, great, fantastic. Thanks a lot. Oh and don’t forget to bring me briefing documents and insurance papers. Yes. Great, thank you.
4. British – Southern English – Posh upper class accent (annoying British stereotype): I mean if you ask me there are a great number of individuals on that list who I most deeply despise. One of them has been my family’s archrival since the mid 18th century. Yes.
5. British –English - West Country (stereotypical farmer accent): "I woke up this morning to see some bastard has stolen my tractor. Anyway, are you coming with me later to see (uh) Plymouth (VS) Argyle? Nice! Green army!"
6. British –Northern English – Manchester: The guy I was interviewing, mate, was a fuckin’ knobhead. No seriously, like he asked me if I was Irish or Scottish. Like just because I don’t sound like one of them Southern fairies.
7. British –Northern English – Liverpool (aka The Scouser accent): All right mate, how’s it going? I’m fine. Well yesterday I got in a fuckin’ bar brawl because there was this cheeky dickhead who’s like giving me funny looks and that. So I fuckin’ smashed a bottle over his head. And then like 3 of his mates fuckin’ grabbed me from behind...But then I like fought them off like and I was swatting them like flies. It was bloody fantastic.
8. British –Welsh (unsure of specific type): Aliens in Cardiff? I don’t think so. Listen I think you need professional help. I have a phone number here for a high quality counselling service. Did you just call me a sheep shagger? That is not acceptable. You bloody bastard.
9. British –Scottish (unsure of specific type, outside Glasgow?): A baseball bat, an uzi and a pettle bomb. And then he fuckin’ dropped to the floor unconscious...unconscious. Can you believe that? And I just sat there thinking, is it me or is he just a wee bit off his head?
10. Irish (Type I – Northern Ireland type): If you give him an inch, he’ll take a fuckin’ mile. {inaudible} I’ll count down: 5, 4,3,2,1. Time’s Up. Get the fuck out. Simple as.
11. Irish (Type 2 – Southern Irish type): I’m not gonna just stand by and watch some {ponti ???} little fucker put me out of business. I will burn his fuckin’ place down to the ground if I have to. And I will stay there for the fire show with a pint of Guinness in one hand and a pint of Magners in the other... safe in the knowledge that that cunt won’t be fuckin’ with me ever again.
12. U.S. American – general accent: Dude, I’m not an asshole. I don’t like talking to people like that but that bitch had it coming. Seriously, at the end of the day some people just take the piss. I was really good to her and she treated me like a fuckin’ doormat and that is not cool. Anyway, I gotta go. I’ll see ya later dude.
13. U.S. American – New York/ Italian American: That douchbag killed his fuckin’dog. That’s just crossing the line. I mean he was real close to that dog, you know. I just think this whole situation has got out of control and I don’t know what to do boss. Any advice?
14. U.S American – Southern/ Redneck: I can’t understand a God damn word you’re saying you stupid retard. I ain’t gonna sit here and try and figure out what kind of mumbo-jumbo, jibber-jabble bullshit’s coming out of your stupid chicken shit mouth. Marianne, Marianne get me another beer! And make sure it’s cold this time, bitch!
15. Australian –general accent: Right, okay, yes. Yes, its’ the building by the fish market. Well since your last visit we’ve got the shower working. And well Bill almost on his way to open the back gate so the only question is, where the bloody hell are you? What a fuckin’ joke!
16. French: Bonjeur, oh-o. Sorry, sorry. Yes, I do speak English (uh) so you want me to pass this message on to him now? No? Okay, well I will notify him that you are trying to contact him. Okay, thanks very much. Bye bye.
17. German: It’s time to figure out the patent layout. But if you see Heinrick just remember to pass on this message to him: “That he is a fuckin’ cheat”. That’s all thank you.
18. Russian: Yuri, hello it’s Nickoli here. I will never forget that time in Moscow when Mikhail stole Dimitri’s vodka...And that he started singing (the) Soviet National Anthem. Remember that time in Belgrade when Dimitri stole the police motorbike and crash(ed) into ice cream parlour.
19. Italian (very stereotypical): Well, I tried to tell him before but there was a communication issue. There was nothing I could do. I am so very sorry that this happened. {You need to go prepare yourself???} I regretfully inform you that it is now outside my responsibility.
20. Chinese (Cantonese type?): I assure you that I told Mr. Wong that the business plan was to go forward. I don’t wanna have to keep running around fixing every little mistake that these stupid incompetent people. I have a fucking business to run here and I don’t need the hassle. Good day to you.
21. Japanese: {Iseyo Takeya???, Mr Wong.} Meet me at my apartment in Nagasaki tomorrow at (a) 4 P.M. These people think, cause they say nothing, they are strong? Well tomorrow all behind this will be shamefully exposed.
22. Indian: Hey, hey. Don’t bloody talk to me like that you bloody bastard. I am the one trying to help you here. Who else can help you, huh? Your uncle, huh? He can’t even tie his bloody shoelace properly. Without me you would not be where you are today.
23. South African: Yeah, right. The dopey little shit couldn’t even do a desk job without getting a paper cut... I’m serious man. I practically looked everywhere and the only place I could find was this fucking dump here. I know man, it takes the fucking piss but what can you do, uh?
24. Nigerian: Hey, don’t worry, don’t worry I can change the details. That is not a problem. But this other guy he’s becoming a pest. I mean this guy man who does he think he is? This is (a) fuckin’ irritating. We don’t want it.

Closing Remarks [His own accent British – Southern English – London Hybrid (7:09-8:14):
Right that’s all I can do for now. Um, obviously some were a little bit off...I did make some mistakes here and there. You know, I’m only human, no one’s perfect but I did my best and um...(ah) in no way meant to offend anyone or insult anyone’s accent or culture or whatever. Even if I did chat random, stupid stuff on the phone it’s just...just (uh) because I couldn't think of anything to say really. But it is...don’t...nothing is personal or nothing like that. You know, um..um I made this mainly for my friends because they seem to be entertained when I impersonate different accents and so I thought I’d make the video. And (uh) you know if you’re watching..um and you like it then feel free to comment, like, subscribe, whatever. I don’t usually make videos like this by the way. I usually make videos about games and (uh) {Microsoft sound text to speech voices???} and stuff like that. But just subscribe anyways you never know...I might make.... I might remake this (a) better version or something similar to this but...uh..thanks for watching...um yeah, bye.

Practice Speaking English (Repeat what you Hear & Role Play)

Introduction (0:00-0:58):
Right I actually promised my friends that I’d make this video quite a while ago but I’ve not got (a)round to it. But now I finally got round to it, so here it is. Uh, in this video I’m just gonna be attempting to do a variety of accents from around the world. I’ll start off with accents from my own country which has lots of different accents (uh, um) I’m from Britain in case you didn’t notice...I’m from the U.K....And yeah, there’s lots of different British accents I can do. And then I’ll move on to accents from other countries and that. Um, the way I’m gonna do structure this video is for each accent I’m gonna pretend I’m on the phone and I’m gonna chat at (about) random stuff. And when I say random I mean 100% random. It is complete and utter rubbish. Don’t pay attention to what I say; don’t take it seriously. It’s just random chatter in the accent. Uh, I may have made a few references here and there to the individual accent but it’s mostly random. Oh yeah, that’s how I’m gonna structure it, so um, let’s begin.

Accents (0:59-7:08):
1. British – Southern English – East London – Cockney: You alright, is Dave there? You alright mate how’s it going son? Yeah I'm fine mate, just doing a bit of DIY. This place is a fuckin’ shithole. But I’ll have it sorted in no time.
2. British (Jamaican influenced) - Southern English – London – street/ slang/ chav/ thug: Wagwan blud wot u sayin, nah its cool fam. What? Wot blud u talking about? 'Ey blud now don't fucking hang up on me yeah. What the fuck! Pussyhole! What the fuck u lookin’ at?
3. British – Southern English –Formal RP (Received Pronunciation): Great, great, fantastic. Thanks a lot. Oh and don’t forget to bring me briefing documents and insurance papers. Yes. Great, thank you.
4. British – Southern English – Posh upper class accent (annoying British stereotype): I mean if you ask me there are a great number of individuals on that list who I most deeply despise. One of them has been my family’s archrival since the mid 18th century. Yes.
5. British –English - West Country (stereotypical farmer accent): "I woke up this morning to see some bastard has stolen my tractor. Anyway, are you coming with me later to see (uh) Plymouth (VS) Argyle? Nice! Green army!"
6. British –Northern English – Manchester: The guy I was interviewing, mate, was a fuckin’ knobhead. No seriously, like he asked me if I was Irish or Scottish. Like just because I don’t sound like one of them Southern fairies.
7. British –Northern English – Liverpool (aka The Scouser accent): All right mate, how’s it going? I’m fine. Well yesterday I got in a fuckin’ bar brawl because there was this cheeky dickhead who’s like giving me funny looks and that. So I fuckin’ smashed a bottle over his head. And then like 3 of his mates fuckin’ grabbed me from behind...But then I like fought them off like and I was swatting them like flies. It was bloody fantastic.
8. British –Welsh (unsure of specific type): Aliens in Cardiff? I don’t think so. Listen I think you need professional help. I have a phone number here for a high quality counselling service. Did you just call me a sheep shagger? That is not acceptable. You bloody bastard.
9. British –Scottish (unsure of specific type, outside Glasgow?): A baseball bat, an uzi and a pettle bomb. And then he fuckin’ dropped to the floor unconscious...unconscious. Can you believe that? And I just sat there thinking, is it me or is he just a wee bit off his head?
10. Irish (Type I – Northern Ireland type): If you give him an inch, he’ll take a fuckin’ mile. {inaudible} I’ll count down: 5, 4,3,2,1. Time’s Up. Get the fuck out. Simple as.
11. Irish (Type 2 – Southern Irish type): I’m not gonna just stand by and watch some {ponti ???} little fucker put me out of business. I will burn his fuckin’ place down to the ground if I have to. And I will stay there for the fire show with a pint of Guinness in one hand and a pint of Magners in the other... safe in the knowledge that that cunt won’t be fuckin’ with me ever again.
12. U.S. American – general accent: Dude, I’m not an asshole. I don’t like talking to people like that but that bitch had it coming. Seriously, at the end of the day some people just take the piss. I was really good to her and she treated me like a fuckin’ doormat and that is not cool. Anyway, I gotta go. I’ll see ya later dude.
13. U.S. American – New York/ Italian American: That douchbag killed his fuckin’dog. That’s just crossing the line. I mean he was real close to that dog, you know. I just think this whole situation has got out of control and I don’t know what to do boss. Any advice?
14. U.S American – Southern/ Redneck: I can’t understand a God damn word you’re saying you stupid retard. I ain’t gonna sit here and try and figure out what kind of mumbo-jumbo, jibber-jabble bullshit’s coming out of your stupid chicken shit mouth. Marianne, Marianne get me another beer! And make sure it’s cold this time, bitch!
15. Australian –general accent: Right, okay, yes. Yes, its’ the building by the fish market. Well since your last visit we’ve got the shower working. And well Bill almost on his way to open the back gate so the only question is, where the bloody hell are you? What a fuckin’ joke!
16. French: Bonjeur, oh-o. Sorry, sorry. Yes, I do speak English (uh) so you want me to pass this message on to him now? No? Okay, well I will notify him that you are trying to contact him. Okay, thanks very much. Bye bye.
17. German: It’s time to figure out the patent layout. But if you see Heinrick just remember to pass on this message to him: “That he is a fuckin’ cheat”. That’s all thank you.
18. Russian: Yuri, hello it’s Nickoli here. I will never forget that time in Moscow when Mikhail stole Dimitri’s vodka...And that he started singing (the) Soviet National Anthem. Remember that time in Belgrade when Dimitri stole the police motorbike and crash(ed) into ice cream parlour.
19. Italian (very stereotypical): Well, I tried to tell him before but there was a communication issue. There was nothing I could do. I am so very sorry that this happened. {You need to go prepare yourself???} I regretfully inform you that it is now outside my responsibility.
20. Chinese (Cantonese type?): I assure you that I told Mr. Wong that the business plan was to go forward. I don’t wanna have to keep running around fixing every little mistake that these stupid incompetent people. I have a fucking business to run here and I don’t need the hassle. Good day to you.
21. Japanese: {Iseyo Takeya???, Mr Wong.} Meet me at my apartment in Nagasaki tomorrow at (a) 4 P.M. These people think, cause they say nothing, they are strong? Well tomorrow all behind this will be shamefully exposed.
22. Indian: Hey, hey. Don’t bloody talk to me like that you bloody bastard. I am the one trying to help you here. Who else can help you, huh? Your uncle, huh? He can’t even tie his bloody shoelace properly. Without me you would not be where you are today.
23. South African: Yeah, right. The dopey little shit couldn’t even do a desk job without getting a paper cut... I’m serious man. I practically looked everywhere and the only place I could find was this fucking dump here. I know man, it takes the fucking piss but what can you do, uh?
24. Nigerian: Hey, don’t worry, don’t worry I can change the details. That is not a problem. But this other guy he’s becoming a pest. I mean this guy man who does he think he is? This is (a) fuckin’ irritating. We don’t want it.

Closing Remarks [His own accent British – Southern English – London Hybrid (7:09-8:14):
Right that’s all I can do for now. Um, obviously some were a little bit off...I did make some mistakes here and there. You know, I’m only human, no one’s perfect but I did my best and um...(ah) in no way meant to offend anyone or insult anyone’s accent or culture or whatever. Even if I did chat random, stupid stuff on the phone it’s just...just (uh) because I couldn't think of anything to say really. But it is...don’t...nothing is personal or nothing like that. You know, um..um I made this mainly for my friends because they seem to be entertained when I impersonate different accents and so I thought I’d make the video. And (uh) you know if you’re watching..um and you like it then feel free to comment, like, subscribe, whatever. I don’t usually make videos like this by the way. I usually make videos about games and (uh) {Microsoft sound text to speech voices???} and stuff like that. But just subscribe anyways you never know...I might make.... I might remake this (a) better version or something similar to this but...uh..thanks for watching...um yeah, bye.



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